One Thing Right Chapter 11 | Wenrene

 

One Thing Right

Chapter 11

"Irene"

"Jisoo, are you okay?" Irene hurriedly approached her younger sister the moment she opened her bedroom door. Jisoo was hugging both of her knees together, trembling. 

"Unnie. I don't think I can keep my promise to you." She spoke weakly as her face was stuck between her knees and chest, she was hiding from the world.

Irene, despite being fearful of what she's hearing, still tried the best she could to lift up her sister's spirit. She caressed her sister's face gently with both of her hands to face her and talk but was completely shattered upon seeing her eyes full of emptiness.

"What are you saying? You told me you'll keep going, right? I'm just here, I'll support you all the way." She tried to convince her again and again but her words seemed not going through anymore.

"There's no point of my medications, unnie. In the end everything will be a waste of time and money. Mom and dad will surely be happy with me gone."

"Don't ever say that, Jisoo! Your life is precious to us! No money can equal your worth in our lives. Please stop thinking like that!" Irene knew it was pointless to tell her to stop thinking negatively as if it was the simplest thing to do for someone suffering from depression. She had known it was impossible, but at times like this she knew that the only thing she can do is to be hopeful. 

"You're still in college, Irene unnie, and yet instead of studying you're occupied by me. Mom and dad are working almost 24/7 to sustain my needs too  when in the end all of it will be wasted."

"Jisoo! I told you, what we're doing for you is not a waste of time and energy, we're doing thid because you are important to us. We love you." Irene have told her this multiple times and it always calmed her down, but now it seemed like it doesn't affect her anymore and grew accustomed to it.  

"Instead of using the money for yourselves, I'm sucking out everything and it's going nowhere at all."

"What are you saying?" Irene's fear is becoming larger, she has to bring up something new that would make her sister change her mind. "I'm doing auditions for lots of modeling agencies lately. You told me you want to see me on a magazine, right? I'll soon earn a lot of money, so mom and dad and you can just sit back and relax. Money will come continuously to us, when I do the modeling, so please don't worry about it." She embraced her sister with all her might, afraid that if she let go of her, she'll lose her forever.

Jisoo was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety disorder when she was in first year high school and Irene was a first year in college. Since the diagnosis, they battle the depression for 3 long years but it all ended instantly when Jisoo took her own life one day just when Irene was about to announce to her that she finally got a modeling contract. 

Since Irene and Jisoo came from a not so well off family, the parents asked Irene to be in charge of her younger sister throughout her medication because they cannot afford the therapies yet . The parents were busy bringing in the money in the house too, so they cannot make time to take care of Jisoo. Irene did not complain about it despite still studying because that's how dear her sister is to her.

Jisoo was so lively back then, she was more like her parents' favorite for her bubbliness and intelligence. Jisoo was bringing in so much achievements in their house too and so the parents were really happy and proud of her. Irene on the otherhand didn't mind their parents' obvious  favoritism because she has no jealousy over her sister when she loved her so dearly. Also, despite appearing like a rebel due to her personality and the way she acts, Jisoo always sees the good in her and had always looked up to her and that really boosts Irene's confidence.

Irene did her best to look out for her sister, she took care of her by staying by her side and always listens to her but it's really inevitable not to leave Jisoo alone at home since she's studying. But whenever Irene felt that Jisoo is really down, she doesn't go to school at all despite Jisoo pushing her to do so.

It's just that one time that Irene had to go and sign a modeling contract that she had to leave Jisoo during her saddest moment. Irene thought maybe if she show her the contract that they have desired for so long would cheer her up. But obviously it was the worst decision she ever made in her life. Irene would never forget Jisoo that day flashing a smile at her and saying that she's grateful for her before and that she really loves her. Irene was over the moon when she heard her say that before she left the unit and run her errands but she didn't expect it to be the last words she'll hear from her.

"Irene, are you okay?" Her make-up artist's question snap her out of her reverie. 

"Oh. Sorry, I just remembered something."

"It must be really a sad memory. Would you like to wash your face first? I'll just redo your make up." 

Irene was confused as to why her make up artist would say that until she saw her own face on the mirror. There were tears on her face and the make up were completely messed up. She didn't realized she was already crying over a memory of the long past. 

"I'm sorry. I'm gonna wash my face then. Please forget that you saw me like this." Irene told the make up artist who nodded after. She had worked for years with that make up artist so Irene knew that this happening won't spread around. 

Irene went to the washroom and soaked her face with water. It's been a while since she remembered her younger sister Jisoo again. Not that she really wanted to forget Jisoo, but she swore to herself that she will only keep the happy memories of her. It was her only solution to keep herself going with her everyday life as well because whenever she thought of Jisoo, it's always the bad ones that seep through her mind. She's always reminded of the wrong decision of leaving her that day.

Irene had been successful lately forgetting but it seemed like fate is punishing her for all the mistakes that she had done in her life, when she encountered another person fighting the same reason why her younger sister died.

Wendy, who she became acquainted not long ago, became her friend. She wasn't good to her at the beginning but she swore that she'll treat her right after she realized how wrong she was to her. Truth be told, when Irene saw her the first time in her unit with Seulgi, Wendy already caught her attention. It's because Wendy was giving her the same eyes she knew very well, the same as her sister's. But she shrugged it off and dismissed her because she didn't want to be reminded of the past when she's facing another huge problem in her present.

Bogum and Irene were quarrelling again and it's not about the abortion this time. Bogum already apologized for that, reasoning it was a spur of his emotion over a surprising news. Irene forgave him, they also got back together when Bogum promised her that he'll take responsibility of the baby. However, after a few days, Irene caught him kissing a girl on his dressing room when she paid a surprised visit. Bogum tried to convince her that it was only a fling but Irene no longer believed him and slapped him on the face before breaking up with him for real. 

Irene was devastated, she regretted everything for being foolishly in love with him in the end. She forgave him again and again after cheating on her several times. Irene tried to put on a blind eye everytime she catches him cheating but that's because she really loved him and he was the one who took her in when her parents were mourning and continously putting the blame on her for her sister's death. She ran away from home, leaving everything behind. Irene was all messed up and was completely vulnerable that time, and the person that saw her in that form was Bogum. 

Bogum helped her, dressed her, and she was grateful for him for staying by her side the entire time she's starting again. He helped her gain back her confidence by partnering with her in modeling projects. Her career boosted up because Bogum that time was already a big time model and an uprising actor.

Bogum became her stepping stone in achieving a new life and it didn't took long that Irene fell in love with him. But it was all a mistake when she realized that she was only being used the entire time. Bogum never loved her, and she thought that he only stayed to her side for that long because she earned a huge popularity now and letting go of her would mean that he might lose some easy profit. Because whenever they team up, it's always instant money.

Bogum tried to reach out to her, he was nervous that everything would really end between them. Bogum called Irene that night when she first met Wendy in her unit with Seulgi. 

"Seriously! You're repeating everything again and again!!! What are your apologies for? For you to repeat all your stupid shits?! I'm so done with you!!!"

Irene ended the call with him right away. When she entered the unit, she didn't expect that Seulgi would bring in someone. Irene glanced at the guest, it was Wendy. She noticed how her blonde hair suited the complexion of her skin as well as the good looking face. Irene shook her head when she thought she was checking out the new girl when she's supposed to be bottled up in her own problem, which is that asshole Bogum, but she can't help it. She glanced at her once more and this time she's met with Wendy's eyes looking at her. 

Irene noticed right away how her eyes spoke for herself, seeking for something. Anyone could ignore it but Irene knew what it meant very well because it was the same eyes that looked at her for a long time. The same eyes as her sister's. 

Painful memories that she wanted to forget flashes back to Irene's mind again and she tried to shut it out by eliminating the source that made her remember.

"Who the fuck she is Seul?" She said and she didn't fail to hear Wendy gasped.

"It's Wendy. She's our neighbor that I invited for dinner. Anyways, enough of that. Let's go to your room now and calm yourself first, Irene." Seulgi said to her as calm as possible.

And there, Wendy went out of their unit and once the door closed, she broke down and cry to Seulgi.

"I'm sorry I have to dismiss your friend Seul, her eyes reminded me of my sister."

Seulgi finally understood. "Your sister, Jisoo? It's been a while since you brought up her name."

"I really wouldn't if it hadn't because of your friend."

Irene also confessed to her everything that happened that night, the she left Bogum finally and that she's considering abortion because she really didn't want to do anything with him anymore. 

Irene knew that Seulgi would be so happy about breaking up with Bogum because she was being adamant about it ever since she found out about his infidelity the first time. But Seulgi strongly disagrees to her idea of abortion. Of course, she would. Knowing Seulgi, her best friend for a long time and has a golden heart, she would aggressively oppose it. But Irene was running out of choice, she knew that the baby she's carrying would be a constant reminder to her of all the wrong decisions she made, from her sister's death to being in love with Bogum. So Irene made up her mind that she'll do the abortion no matter what but Seulgi has her own plans for her.

When Seulgi was on her way to leave the unit for her team building, she told Irene about the favor she asked from Wendy.

Irene was furious about it. She was planning to abort the child while Seulgi was away because she can't do it when she's here. She waited for her departure and yet she made Wendy look out for her, of all people. The one who reminded her of her sister's pain. Then Seulgi left her with haunting words saying,

"I'm doing this for your own good Irene, and I'm sure your sister will do the same."

Irene was in complete rage, she felt betrayed by her own bestfriend and even brought up her sister to discourage her with her plans. Now she halted all these because of that, she was discouraged. So the night, when Seulgi went away, she drowned herself in alcohol trying to forget everything and hope that she could find courage again to do her plans without being held back by the memories of her sister.

When she went back home, she was already swaying due to too much alcohol. She has reached her limit and soon she'll pass out, but she's determined to go home first because she didn't want to wake up to tabloid reports about her being drunk in public.

Irene knew she's about to throw up already but she can't pass through her unit's god damn door, she can't take the keys in. Her world is already spinning and when she can't held back anymore she vomitted.

"Oh my god! What happened to you?!!"

Irene, of all people, didn't want to see the owner of that voice so she acted like she didn't know her to dismiss her immediately. Even though she hasn't spoke to Wendy face to face, her voice got stuck to her head when she bids farewell that night from their first encounter in their unit. 

"Who the hell are you?" Irene said with clear intention that she doesn't want anything to do with her especially now too that she did something embarrassing. A model that vomitted in front of a stranger, that's really pathetic. Despite that, Wendy still tried to help her out but Irene was stubborn and pushed her away again.

"No. Thank you!" Irene forced herself out from Wendy's hold who's only trying to support her to stand straight. "I can do this myself. Mind your own business." She pushed Wendy and continued her struggle to put the key inside the door knob. 

But then, Wendy was stubborn to help her out too. Wendy took the key away from Irene and successfully opened the door for her. 

Her heart skipped a beat in that mere action.

Irene thought it must be because of too much alcohol, in fact it felt like she's gonna pass out. And she actually did but before she became completely unconscious Wendy blurted out something that she'll bring to her sleep, "Damn, is it even okay for a pregnant woman to drink? How could she do that to herself and to the baby?!". Irene figured that Wendy was talking to herself but these words weighed so much to her. She's right, how could she do this to herself? 

When Irene woke up the next day, her head was aching so much, she looked for her phone and it was only 8 in the morning. It was still too early so she was going to return to her sleep but then she realized that she was in her bedroom. Her last memory of last night was she passed out by the door, so how did she end up here? She looked around her room, the A/C was on and there's a glass of water on the side table. She nervously looked at her clothes, thank god she's wearing the same. 

Irene then remembered Wendy. It has to be her. And she also remembered the fact that Wendy knew about her pregnancy. 

She got up and went out from her bedroom only to meet Wendy sleeping in a sitting position.

Upon seeing her, a glimpse of what happened that night flashes back on her. She was not fully conscious that time, but she could feel what the other was doing to her. 

Irene remembered how she was taken care of, and her heart skipped a beat again at the memory. 

She dismissed this feeling away again too. It must be because she was too vulnerable at the time that she's felt the same when she met Bogum. She concluded that this must be her initial reaction to anyone helping her who always seen her vulnerable side. She scoffed at this realization, it must be it. How pathetic could she be? She's this desperate for someone showing care for her.

Irene had learned her lesson with Bogum, and there's no way she will also fall in love with someone that reminded her of the past. Despite this, Irene went back to her bedroom and took a fresh blanket out of her cabinet. She then went to where Wendy was and covered her with it. She sat down at the couch next to Wendy and after doing so, she watched the girl's sleeping face. 

Her heart was feeling warmth just by looking at her. Why in the hell she's so weak to people who always help her during her vulnerable times? Why?!! And why does she always end up vulnerable and weak all the time? 

It didn't took long when Wendy stirred from her sleep and found her. Irene didn't budge, because she wanted to be reminded that she cannot fall for her. She cannot fall for someone whose eyes were giving a glimpse of a dark and miserable soul hiding in the shell of a human body. She will no longer dive in and reach out to get herself another heartbreak. 

But Wendy continued to show her kindness without aiming for something in return and that made Irene weakened even more. Wendy was slowly crashing down the walls that she had built to restrain anyone that's trying to reach her heart. Every word that Wendy spit out from her mouth weigh so much that it knocked so much sense to her being. Other people may take her words lightly but Irene knew better that a depressed person giving an advice does not only reflect what they want for you, but it's a reflection of what they are aiming for themselves as well, to survive life.

"You're pregnant and you're risking your baby's life by getting yourself wasted! Who in the right mind would consider themselves fine after that!" 

"See?! You cannot even control yourself anymore. What? Does the truth hurt?! The fact that you're completely irresponsible and selfish! The baby doesn't deserve all this from you! You're insane!" 

"You don't know what I'm going through." Irene could remember what she replied to her that time, but no matter what reason she gave, Wendy has so much empathy for her because she knows very well how hard and painful it is to deal even the tiniest problem there is in the world.

All problems matter, the size is irrevelant to the suffering it entails to a person. In the end, we are all suffering and Wendy was showing that to her, that despite the grave of sins she was willing to take to survive her problems, there were no judgment emanating from her eyes because she could understand how painful it is to suffer alone.

"Nobody knows what you're going through. I get that. But please, give a chance for the baby to live. It's the baby's only chance but you have plenty of time to recover from your pain. You should know better."

Irene's crying was suffocating herself, Wendy understands how life miserable could be but in the end she will not prohibit someone to experience it. Because people are not the same, there's no one alike. They may be suffering now, but others could still discover something beautiful from what life offers. It may not be them, but others might. 

"You're stronger than you think." 

She's giving her an advice.

"You'll get through this."

Irene could tell that Wendy's going through depression. Not just because she's seeing the same content in her eyes like her sister's, but because Wendy was giving her so many hints based on the way she acts and speaks in that span of a week that they've been together. She cannot forget about how 'she wished there's really poison in her food' conversation with her. Even though Irene just raised it as a joke to her that time, Wendy was too absorbed in her own world that she mumbles the desire of death. Words that Irene was accustomed to hearing before from her sister.

Despite claiming she didn't want to be involved in Wendy's world, Irene was pulled into her. She kept thinking about her, she regretted being rude to her and her heart desires to see her. 

Her suspicion about Wendy going through depression got confirmed when she overheard Joy and Wendy's emotional conversation. Irene was out in the lobby that time, she remembered the package she forgot to pick up in her mail. When she's on her way back, she sees both Joy and Wendy embracing each other and crying so hard. 

This time, it was Joy's words that opened the wounds in her heart. She could relate to every words she's saying to Wendy that time, those words full of desperation to save someone's life.

"I'm diagnosed with depression, Joy. I'm broken."

"I'm sorry I've shut you out. I'm just so scared that you'll see me differently. You're the only one I have now.. and I'm... I'm so scared that you'll... you will..." 

"Stop that nonsense and don't speak the word."

"If there's one person you should not worry about leaving your side, it should be me. Even if the world starts crumbling, I'll choose to stay by your side.

"...because you're that much important to me, Wendy."

 

"You don't have to do that." 

"But I can do that for you. And so what if you're diagnosed with depression? It's not going to define who you are as a person! It's not a flaw or weakness of yours, it's a mental health disease that we need to fight. So you have to hang in there no matter what!" 

"Promise me, Wendy unnie, you'll hang in there and I promise you I'll be with you all the way." 

"Thanks Joy."

"I don't need your thanks, I need you to promise me!" 

"I promise."

Wendy's responses were so familiar to Irene too, because Jisoo also said those words. She's been grateful, struggling not to show her deepest feelings, creating lots of empty promises just to let the person around them think they're getting better when in truth, they weren't.

That time, when Irene heard them, her shield crumbles and it only takes one more push for it to be completely destroyed and then she saw Wendy again... one the swing.

She was swinging so aggressively like she didn't care if she'll fall. The danger does not hinder her to feel the thrill and joy that life should be giving her. Wendy was feeling the moment, the happiness when she was up high in the air and whenever she comes down she pushes her foot even harder to reach even higher. Irene wtinessed it, how Wendy's hair flew and how her smile appeared so beautiful whenever she reached the air, and her heart skipped a beat but this time she didn't do anything to stop it. Her walls were completely shattered, Wendy got through and her heart's pounding aggressively for her. In that very moment, she has decided to keep Wendy up high in the air, for her to feel life, to make her continue smiling. To make Wendy continue living. 

When Irene met Wendy with Joy face to face that night in the park, she was smiling to herself because when she looked at Wendy, she was no longer seeing the eyes that reminds her of her sister who suffered depression nor the past pain that she wanted to forget. Irene saw nothing else anymore but the eyes of the one she's in love with. 

Maybe Jisoo was still watching over her, that she's the one who sent someone in her life who's suffering depression like her.

Maybe she was giving her another chance to save someone like her in order for her to fully move on from the past and continue focusing on the present. 

Maybe she sent Wendy to give her a chance to be happy and experience real love.

Irene's shooting for a magazine ended that night and she hurriedly exited the building to get on her way back home.

She was excited to go home because she promised Wendy that she'll buy her favorite bubble tea. At first, Wendy was asking why, but then Joy goes to the rescue and told her to just accept it. She even asked to give her one too just so Wendy would stop being doubtful. 

And this coming Friday, which she doesn't have a schedule, they will go out and bring her to a Salon. She was already planning what else she could do with her at that time they will be together alone. She was nervous and excited at the same time.

Irene was no longer haunted by the past because right now she has found the reason to move on, to live in the present and to continue planning the future. 

And that reason is her baby... she will change for it, to give it what a mother should give to her child. She will shower this bundle with love and care.

Irene will continue living with courage for her child...

...and for the person that brought her light...

... and it's Wendy.