In The Hopes Of Coming Across You | Wenrene

"You look terrible, Seungwan. You should've not reported to work today." Seulgi, Seungwan's best friend and colleague said as she observes her friend spacing out in front of her computer. "I don't think you'll finish anything just by staring at your screen." She added and took Seungwan's pile of documents and started typing it on her own computer. 

The fast tapping sounds of the keyboards finally got through Seungwan's senses, her friend Seulgi has once again became a keyboard warrior saving her from a piled up work. They both work as chief editors in a small publishing company and since both of them don't have enough people under them, some raw works from their bosses were dropped directly on their table and never left. Seungwan and Seulgi were tired of the lack of support but they still endure it because they don't want to suffocate their people with more tasks as they already have more than enough on their plate.

To work on the extra loads equally were both agreed and planned by Seungwan and Seulgi, however, it wasn't the case at all for the past few days, weeks, months and a year. Seulgi was the only one doing most of the work as Seungwan's mind flies somewhere else. Seungwan felt bad about it and told Seulgi that she'll just resign and take some time off but the latter strongly disagreed with her decision and made her stay by her side in the end. Seulgi was very adamant that she'll help out no matter what and that Seungwan just have to continue doing work on her own pace and she'll do the rest for her. Seungwan was trying, for Seulgi, she was trying to function normally because she didn't want to see her cry immensely for her just like before. So she stayed, for Seulgi, her best friend who cares the most about her today.

"Stop staring at me Seungwan. I'd rather want you to stare at your own computer screen than stare at me typing like a mad woman here."

"When did you grow eyes on the side?" Seungwan joked but she's honestly always moved by Seulgi's sacrifices for her. Sometimes, she asks herself what she did in her past life to deserve a friend like Seulgi in this lifetime. They just understood each other deeply, how they were wired differently. They know each other like they were a part of each other's soul, an important piece that completes their whole being. 

"I know I've said this several times already, Seulgi, but I'm sorry."

Seulgi, as she had always done before whenever Seungwan's feeling less, stopped whatever she was doing and looked at her friend. "I told you several times too, that if I feel burdened I will inform you but I really don't. You just have to accept that fact because that's what friends are for. If you really feel bad about me helping you then return this favor by you just breathing each day, that's already enough for me." 

Seungwan's eyes starts to moisten as Seulgi gazes at her like she's looking at a flower that blooms not in the season of spring but of winter. To Seulgi, Seungwan is a miracle and this feeling is mutual between them. 

"I've said this multiple times to you too, it's because it's you that I don't feel burdened at all." 

The best friends looked at each other sincerely in silence. They have exchanged words of encouragement and love to each other that never fails to send warmth to their hearts, and it never failed to crack a smile on their faces too because after feeling the warmth of their words and gazes the chills of embarrassment also comes next with it. They just couldn't stand being too cheesy for long. 

"Aish! You're doing this on purpose, making me tell those cringeworthy words to you." Seulgi said with face flushed as she rubs her arms with both of her hands to get rid of the chills that her cheesiness gave.

Seungwan started doing the same and they both laughed at each other.

"I'll be leaving." Seungwan said and Seulgi's smile got wiped away instantly on her face. They were sinking back to the seriousness of the situation. Even if Seulgi already knew that it was coming, she refuses to believe that she has to let go of her best friend to find herself and face the battle that only her could solve.

"You'll call me, right?"

"Of course."

"Don't you want me to come with you?"

Seungwan smiled. "I think I have to do this on my own."

Seulgi sighed but she understood where Seungwan was coming from. "I'll wait for your comeback then. If something goes wrong along the way, you have to call me, okay?" She demanded instead of a request.

"Thanks, Seulgi-ah. Really, thank you."

It's been a year, ever since Seungwan fought for her life but quickly regretted as she was welcomed with only emptiness, exactly like those plain white walls that surrounded her when she woke up on a hospital bed. Since then, Seulgi watched how Seungwan survived each day but actually never lived.

Picking up her things at home after work, she has begun her journey in facing what she fears. A risky move without a plan nor a map to direct her where she's supposed to go. Opening the side window of the driver's seat, Seungwan became one with the wind that a spring night brings. She let her worries and  fear of the unknown fly by with the wind and focuses on the most important thing which was the present.

Seungwan continued on with her journey. She preferred to travel the roads at night because this way, she could fully relate to the emptiness that the darkness brings, it defines what she truly feels. She made sure she drives in silence too, just the sound of the car's engine and her breathing were the ones accompanying her through the night. 

The road, the landscapes, the grey walls of the tunnels and the towering trees after it...all the memories they bring will all stay hidden and be left in the dark.

---

"Seungwan -ah!" A soft voice ring in her ears. It was the sweetest melody that Seungwan's ears had heard in her life. As someone who loves music, she knew, this is the sound that will timelessly live in the depths of her heart. 

Seungwan opened her eyes only to be met by a lovely gaze and a smile better than sunshine.

"Good morning." 

"Good morning my lovely, Joohyun." Seungwan moved closely to the woman beside her who happens to have a habit of watching her sleep. She scoot her over and left a peck on her cheek.

Joohyun instantly giggles at the action and it made Seungwan's heart leap in return. Love surely is a strange thing but Seungwan likes the feeling.

"Did you have a good night sleep?" 

"I did, 'coz you're next to me." 

Joohyun then caressed Seungwan's cheeks and took time admiring her fiance's features. She gently kisses every part of her face starting with her forehead until the lips were the ones left. 

"Let's start the day and get some breakfast." Joohyun teased as she got up and left Seungwan hanging. 

"You think I'll let you without getting my good morning kiss?!" Seungwan caught her fiance's hand and brought her on top of her body, she made sure her hold on her waist were tight to prevent the woman from escaping. The room was yet again filled with Joohyun's squeals and giggles.

"But I'm hungry Seungwan! I've been awake since 5!" Joohyun pouted, feigning she didn't want to be where she's placed on. 

"2 hours?" Seungwan replied with amusement after she looked at her side table to see the clock, it was already 7am. 

"Hmm..hmmm.."  Joohyun hummed affirmation. 

"I know you love me so much but I can't believe you're this addicted to me." Seungwan said with a smug look on her face and Joohyun playfully placed her palm to cover it quickly.

"You're my hobby."

"Staring at me is a hobby of yours?" Seungwan yet again, boasted.

"Why? Can you top that?!" Joohyun challenged and Seungwan being the greasiest person she could be, replied. "I'm afraid that you're not a hobby, Joohyun." She paused and smirked at her. "You'll be my wife."

Joohyun immediately bursted out laughing with more giggles on the side and Seungwan laughed along with her after confidently wiggling her eyebrows. 

"Nice wordplay!"

"I don't think it's only nice. It's a masterpiece." 

"Then as a reward for that masterpiece..." Joohyun closed the gap between them and gave the excited ball of sunshine a kiss on the lips to finally start her day.

---

"Let's go on a road trip again, Seungwan-ah!" Joohyun said as they started walking and left their car on the roadside. They walked hand-in-hand while they shyly peek at each other's faces from time to time. They were like teenagers on their first date, all smiles and in never ending fluttering moments together. Walking on the road, late at night, with the moon, stars and the warm street lights illuminating them served also as witnesses for their love.

Joohyun made her hold to Seungwan's hands tighter that made both of them stop on their tracks and look straight at each other's eyes. "Spending time like this with you, it feels like a romance movie." 

Seungwan giggles. "Are we allowed to say cheesy things now?" 

"Why? Are you going to beat my line again?"

Seungwan stepped forward and closes their distance, she dived in staring at Joohyun's loving eyes. "I'll go to the ends of the earth with you, I'll follow wherever you go."

"You will?" Joohyun asked.

"I will."

"Because you love me?"

Seungwan took her fiancè's hand and pressed a kiss on it before responding, "Because you're my only destination, Joohyun, my love."

Seungwan has awakened yet again... this time eyes filled with tears as a memory she feigns not remembering, for the whole year that passed, haunts her in sleep. She retired at the first hotel she saw last night while she was on the road and now she's lying, sad and alone on the bed that someone had occupied a year ago. 

Today, she had decided to make peace with the past. To buy Joohyun flowers for the last time and to accept that she was already... gone. 

She kept walking towards the destination for today, in a new morning, where everything was clear. The memories flashes back and so the pain of regret and longing that comes with it.

"In the hopes of coming across you, I denied you're already gone." 

A gloomy weather was what Joohyun's hometown welcomed Seungwan. It's been a year, the rain finally pours and Seungwan didn't move one bit as she stared with yearning on Joohyun's name on the gravestone. 

Taking her time, spending with Joohyun after a long year of denial, Seungwan bids farewell and started walking endlessly after, on the road, in life, without her.

"Wait for me, Joohyun."