Lingering Feelings Chapter 2 | Wenrene

Lingering Feelings

Chapter 2

Lonely eyes mindlessly gazing through a distance in the midst of loud and vibrating sounds, Joohyun instantly felt a twinge in her heart watching her subject. The bubbliest person engraved in her memory, returned in this reality differently. Her appearance, from the way she dressed to the way she expresses herself, Seungwan was the opposite of what she once used to be.

How many nights has it been, since she has showed up in this night club? Joohyun could count three but it all felt like eternity with how perturbed she became. She has planned out everything in her head, once they get reunited, endless apologies and hopes of reconnecting their lives were all set to be conveyed. But when the opportunity has knocked, she let it slip away easily. Astonishment, later cowardice kicked in, Joohyun couldn't face Seungwan who has once proclaimed love for her in the past.

Another regret has topped over another, and Joohyun will never get it as to why all of it centered to Seungwan. She has lived fearlessly throughout her life, but she always curled up when Seungwan enters the picture.

"You've been watching that girl from afar for 3 straight nights." A tall and sophisticated woman, with clothes revealing too much skin, approached Joohyun at the bar. Taking a seat next to her, she took a shot of tequila, and continued. "That's not how we do it, Joohyun. If we want it, we get it. You've been doing great all these years, what's up with you?" 

Joohyun turned to Joy. "I'm not supposed to see her here." 

"Is she a minor that escaped the bouncers?" Joy quickly raised as if it's the only reason why one shouldn't be here. 

"No. But... this place is... it does not fit her." She exhaled exasperatedly. Seungwan, is the most innocent person she has ever met in her life. To see her in a hellish place where all types of sinners like to gather, Joohyun couldn't accept.

Joohyun has grown accustomed to this night life, the wicked people, and the activities done before and after the lights goes off. At this point, with years of experience, no circumstances inside nor harsh words of criticisms outside could make her uncomfortable anymore. Not, when she's certain that the person she cares the most in the world, won't ever step into this hell. But ever since Seungwan showed up, her resolve faltered instantly. 

The mind boggling questions from what she's doing here up to how she had been within that 3 years of  absence, couldn't make her sleep at night. God knows how much she wanted to see her after those years she was missing in her life, but she never imagined it to be in this kind of place and moment. 

"Is she a nun or what?" The younger girl mocked rolling her eyes before irritatingly added, "Why are you torturing yourself by not approaching her? I don't know who she is to you but by the looks of it, she's really that important to you." For someone with same strong and all out personality as her, she could fully understand Joy's frustrations. She could just do that, if only she did not do her wrong in the past. 

"Please not him." 

Joohyun heard Seungwan pleaded.

"I'm not forcing you to change your way of living, I promised not to interfere. But just this time, Joohyun, please not him." 

"And why should I listen to you? You've been doing well acting like what I'm doing doesn't bother you, but here you are finally showing your true color." Joohyun gave her a sharp gaze, devoid by emotions. 

"I have my reason." 

"I have no time to spare and listen to that. My time costs money, Seungwan. I will give service to this man like any other client." Joohyun then turned around to leave but Seungwan stopped her by the hand. 

"If you like me back, like I do, please not this man." Seungwan confessed and dangerously dared her to choose but she didn't turned back at all. Instead, she forced to take her hand away from her but Seungwan just won't let go. 

"I love you. If you choose me, I'll give you everything you want. I'll work hard on it." 

It took a few seconds before Joohyun spoke, but when she did, it broke Seungwan's heart into a million pieces.

"Your love won't make me live a day nor pay the debt of my family Seungwan." She turned around just to make herself more clear and show her how desperate she is to escape from her. "Loving me is nonsense. Because I cannot love back someone who reminds me how dirty I am just by looking."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"For what? For me to feel 10 times awful and dirty for hurting an innocent girl like you?"

"You're hurting me now, Joohyun." Seungwan spoke with shaking voice.

"You're the one who asked for it. You should know your place."

Silence.

"Do you really mean it?"

Pause.

"I do. I never once saw you as a friend, your innocence just creeps me out. Perhaps, if you live the way I live, you'll have a chance. But no, we're worlds apart. We can never understand each other."

"I can change for you."

"Are you that desperate for me to stop sleeping with that man?! I'm pushing you away, you really don't get me. I need money and not you right now!" Joohyun sheds tears as she screamed at the top of her lungs. 

Seungwan at that time started crying too. "That's why I don't believe your words. You're doing this purposely to push me away when I know you cherish also the moments we spent together." 

"I have to go." Joohyun flatly rejected her words and started taking steps away from her. 

"Not him, Joohyun. Just not him." 

She heard Seungwan spoke, but she never looked back. 

The painful memory still holds an open wound to Joohyun's heart up till this moment. It just doesn't have the time to heal at all, especially when most of her customers consistently reminded her this memory every time they confess to her. Offering to give her everything she wanted, just like Seungwan did. 

Joohyun knew how cruel she treated Seungwan that time, she regretted it a lot. Especially when it's the last moment she had shared with Seungwan before she disappeared without a word. How can she blame her though? She's the one who pushed her away, the person that Joohyun believed to be the only person that loved her at those times in the past.

She hurt her and this is what weighs her down, to curl up and cower. Up till this moment, she hated herself for hurting her with insencere words just to push her away and proceed to be a slave for money. 

Sensing her apprehension to speak, Joy sighed and dropped her a surprising news instead. 

"I really want to hear everything from you, but I guess I can ask my client if you don't want to speak." 

Joohyun's eyebrows furrowed and lifted her head from sulking. "What do you mean?" 

"That one with your subject, she's my client for tonight." 

Joohyun's eyes widened when she saw Joy gesturing someone to come close to them, and she's certain that it's at the direction of where Seungwan is. 

"This would make things easier for you, wouldn't it?" Joy smirked at her and before Irene could escape from the scene, Seungwan's companion who happened to be Joy's client speaks. 

"Hello, ladies. I'm Seulgi and this one over here is my friend, Seungwan."

"Hi, nice to finally meet you. I'm Joy and this is my friend, Joohyun."

Like how dramatic scenes play in the movies, the time slowed down as Joohyun meets Seungwan's eyes after years that passed. 

Joohyun caught it, how Seungwan gasped and how her eyes widened at their unexpected encounter. But it's though as if her eyes and ears were fooling her because next thing Seungwan did was acting as if she didn't know her at all. 

"Now that introductions are over, can I finally leave?" She said, close off.

Seulgi nudged her by the waist after her cold behaviour but Seungwan didn't flinch. Her cold aura, which Joohyun was not accustomed to, did not dissipate one bit. 

"Sorry 'bout that. I kinda forced her to accompany me here for 3 nights now so..." She faltered explaining and laughed it off right away. 

The tension between them heightened even more when Joohyun's client last week approached her at their location too. 

Who gave this guy the cue to come over? Joohyun was mentally panicking but since it's work, she did not oppose his move. She gulped, however, as Seungwan witnessed the whole scene with the guy giving her a peck on the cheeks and arms snaking around her waist. 

Seungwan averted her eyes away from them quickly, still indifferent. Her expression only changed when Seulgi shouted someone else' name approaching them.

"Rosé! Over here!"

And that's how Joohyun got to taste her own medicine, with this new female embracing Seungwan as she arrived and even pull her into a kiss on the lips as a greeting. What shocked her more, was when Seungwan did not retreat from the intimate gesture done in public. She even kissed her back, in front of everyone else, in front of her.