One Thing Right Chapter 16 | Wenrene

 One Thing Right

Chapter 16

"Control" 

After Wendy's scheduled therapy, Wendy and Irene decided to take a stroll for the night after they got home. Irene brought up how an evening stroll outside helps her calm her nerves and forget her worries and get herself a good night sleep later on. She mentioned that it's also a short but great time to spend time with oneself, to be in tune with herself after a long busy day. 

Wendy had second thoughts before agreeing to Irene since she was already dead tired in the head. Rose did not really asked so many questions to her during the therapy session but coming out with responses wasn't really easy as it should because even in just one question, her head usually formulates a lot of responses that she didn't know which of which was the right thing to tell. Wendy has brought up this difficulty to Rose on their second meeting and the professional told her that there aren't right or wrong so she must not worry and only asked of her to be honest with herself. Wendy then just nodded even though she didn't really understood what she meant. The first thing that came to mind was how will she do that if she wasn't really in tune with herself in her entire existence. What she only knew was to conform to whatever other people asked her to do, be it at home, at work or wherever regardless of what she thought or felt about it. 

Irene must have sensed the inner turmoil with her silence so she held her hand to snap her out of her reverie. Wendy looked at her surprised and when she saw the concern from Irene's face, she quickly wore a smile to hide herself out of habit and that's how Wendy agreed to Irene's request.

As they walked the through the park near their place, there was only silence. Wendy was spending her time inside her mind while Irene was walking by her side. When they reached the playground where the swing was located, that's when Irene tugged Wendy's shirt to get her attention. 

"Let's go to the swing." She invited and Wendy only smiled, again.

Irene happily played with the swing like a little child while Wendy couldn't find any strength to use her legs to swing as enthusiastically as her, so she remained there sitting only and watch her girlfriend enjoy everything. Wendy couldn't help but smile as it dawned to her where they were at the moment. It was the place wherein Irene took all the courage she has to confess to her. Up until now, that event was surreal to her, to have someone like Irene loving someone like... her. 

When Irene told her about how she knew about her depression even before she told her about it, Wendy felt a bit offended because it was something that shouldn't be told by anyone in her stead. It's was her weakness after all, a vulnerability that she wanted to supress from everyone. But in the end, she only let it slide especially when Irene brought up about losing her sister to depression. However, the problem has not ended because she chose to be silent about it, in fact, it only grew inside her head as day passed by. Wendy made it a goal to see herself with the way Irene sees her but with what she learned about the secret between Joy and Irene, she conluded that it must have been nothing but pity for her. Perhaps she only sees her as her sister who suffers from the same depression.

"Wendy?"  

She got startled at the sudden call and her one problem earlier quickly escalated into a much bigger problem as insecurities started to eat her on the inside. "Hmm?" She smiled, still.

Irene abruptly stopped swinging as she hits the ground and the smile on her face vanished upon witnessing her girlfriend's stature at that very time. Wendy was cracking a smile to tell everything was fine but her eyes and her body says otherwise. Of course, when Wendy agreed to their deal of telling everything to each other, Irene knew this wasn't the easiest thing to do especially for Wendy who was so used to concealing her real emotions.

"What are you thinking?" She asked and Wendy look at her as if she wanted to say something but couldn't so she added, "We promised to say everything to each other, right?" She reminded cautiously.

"If I tell you, would you leave me alone?" 

Irene was confused because even if it was raised as a question, it also sounded like a demand from her.

"Tell me your worries, include why you want me to leave you alone too. After that, I'll decide."  She said without hesitance and it seemed like Wendy already expected her response. 

Wendy sighed deeply before she speaks, "It seems like, I already saw it... how you see me." 

Irene grew even more curious now that she heard her. Wendy had stated before about that goal of hers before they got together as a couple, but she didn't expect that it was the thing that bothered her lately. Somehow, she's getting a grip of the situation, where Wendy was really coming from. 

"And how do I see you?"  She asked.

"Y-you only see me like your sister."

Irene was a bit taken aback with how her late sister got called out but that didn't stop her to make it clear for Wendy how she really felt about her, again. So she quickly sealed the gap between them with a kiss and slowly deepens it until they gasps both for air.

"I don't kiss my sister like this, do you?" Irene smiled reassuringly at Wendy whose face fully flushed. Satisfied with how she made Wendy breathless with a kiss, Irene smirked. "I could do more than that if you'll allow me." 

"W-what are you talking about?" Wendy felt embarrassed, what was she even thinking.

"I'm just responding to your question, this is how I truly see you. It's the benefit of telling me about it because at the end of the day, no matter how much you stress about it, your thoughts won't talk for me but I could do that for you."  

"You must be thinking I was so stupid for thinking like that, right?" 

Irene once again brought their lips together but this time it was only a peck before saying, "Why are you assuming so many things about me when you could ask me directly for answers? I told you, only I can tell you what I think and what I feel. That goes the same for you, if I want to know something from you, I'll ask it straight from you. In that way, I won't create delusions about you that only I made up inside my head. It would only hurt me and you, and I don't want that in the end. Besides, I'm more in love and interested about you than what's only inside my head so I'd rather ask you to know the real truth."  

Irene stood up from the swing, and just like from the previous time they were here, she sat on the dirt in front of Wendy and held her hand with both of hers. "Doesn't it feel good that there's now one problem solved?" 

"Yes. I'm sorry about my assumptions, I was just scared."

"Don't be scared, Wendy. I'm too in love with you to  even leave you."

"You aren't going to leave me?"

"Nope. Not in a million years and that won't change just because you accused me of seeing you as my sister." 

"Hey, you're accusing me of accusing you just now. That's not it though, I at least could speak for myself." 

Irene instantly cracked a smile, she was teasing her girlfriend but also showing her how it's okay to tell her worries like this and how she could laugh at it after. And now, she's sure that Wendy is slowly going there with how her anxious eyes glow of hope, how her sloppy posture became confident and how her smile was drawn from genuine happiness.

"Yes, you can only speak for yourself, Wendy. Only you can do that."

Wendy doesn't need Irene to point out what she exactly meant with those words, when she could clearly read in between the lines. She realized how Irene was really looking out for her, observing and stating what's needed to be addressed for her betterment and it's not done in an offending nor insensitive method of confrontation too. In the end, Irene didn't want her to get hurt and Wendy's heartstrings were tugged by it that she felt emotional to a point of crying.

"I'm so thankful for you, Irene." 

This time, it was Irene who got caught in surprise. "W-what are you talking about? I didn't do anything."

"I never felt lucky once in my life, but I guess this is how it felt... having you... by my side." 

Irene wasn't sure who leaned first but it didn't matter anymore as their lips met once again. This time, it's not only Irene who poured all her love and affection into the kiss but both of them proclaiming it. A kiss that no words could equal how they both share the same feelings of love for each other.

From that point onwards, Wendy drastically put efforts fighting her depression. She no longer run away and hide in the depths of her mind as she took actions to solve every problem. She started with the smallest problem she knew she could solve because just like what Irene reminded her, one solved problem always feels good no matter what the size it was. 

Taking actions was way better than getting poisoned by the unwelcomed negative thoughts and let it linger to ruin herself. Irene reminded her, that she has the sole control of how she lives her life. That brought Wendy to now accept her depression as the first step and she became driven to find her way with it and finally out of it one day.

Before, when a somewhat limitless-like motivation flows to Wendy like this, she already anticipates her lowest point to come after, reason why she always chose not to do anything at all to keep her sane later on. But now? All that matters to her was to do something, to slowly walk away from the quicksand and to anticipate finally walking on land. A flowery path where she could happily walk with Irene, Joy and Seulgi side by side. With proper medication, guidance from professionals and love from everyone and from herself, Wendy could already foresee a beautiful future ahead.

---

Wendy ran as fast as she could through the white hallways of the hospital that Irene got admitted in. She was breathless and on haywire but she pushed her limits to get to Irene as quickly as possible.

When she heard about the terrible news over the phone from Seulgi, her heart instantly dropped and was zoned in disbelief. Fear engulfed her,  anxiety returned and worsened with each tick of the clock while she stood still in her apartment, trembling.

Wendy, Irene needs you.

Those words ring inside her head and instantly became her drive to find strength on her knees and start heading over the familiar address that Seulgi mentioned. She shrugged everything out of her mind and the only thought remained was to see Irene no matter what. 

Wendy navigate herself through the place with ease and ignored the people who noticed her and in the nick of time, she arrived at the corridor where Irene's private room was located. While she was at the car on the way, Seulgi told her that Irene got transferred to a bigger private room and that Irene's okay. Wendy did not asked further details and hanged up on her after that, she wasn't ready nor was able to handle more if she found out worst details as of the moment. She prioritized one thing at a time for now because one serious and negative situation like this was enough for her to lose her mind. Everything was too much for her and the thought of seeing Irene was the only reason she's choosing to stay sane and not give in to her old habits of letting herself swallowed in negative thoughts. This was a traumatic experience for Irene and Wendy was already blaming herself for it. 

When Seulgi spotted her on the far end of the corridor, she stood up from her seat and greeted her with a weak smile. After then it finally sinked in to Wendy that there's no turning back anymore. Whatever she'll hear or learn should not break her for herself and most importantly for Irene's sake. Every step she took towards Seulgi was so heavy, her mind and body were all dragging her down. 

"I don't think I could face her, Seulgi." Wendy suddenly stopped on her tracks and fell down on the floor as her knees finally gave in. She started shaking again due to overwhelming emotions and endless negative thoughts seeping through now inside her brain. Seulgi hurriedly ran towards her.

"Irene and the baby is fine now, Wendy." She assured her and Wendy immediately broke down crying. "I was calling you again when you hang up but I can't get through. I was so worried about you. Everything is okay now, my friend. Everything is okay now." 

"I was so scared, Seulgi! I've never been so scared in my life like this. I'm so relieved Irene and her baby are all okay. I don't know what to do if I find out something went wrong with each of them." Wendy shared and Seulgi comforted her by staying by her side and listened to her deepest worries. 

"I thought I'll lose not only the baby but also Irene. They are my happiness now, Seulgi. They kept me going."

Seulgi could no longer handle her emotions upon hearing heart breaking confessions so she embraced her and cried with her. "It's okay now, Wendy. Both of your happiness are safe now."

However, Wendy was still engulfed by her own fears she continued, "I was already imagining how devasted Irene was without her baby. That kept playing inside my mind, questioning why is this life so cruel for her? I was going crazier than I've ever been!"

"What should I do if I lose them who made me feel I have a future to envision?"

"Why would life take either of them away from me just when I've decided I want to live again?"

---

Taking some time to refresh herself in the washroom, Wendy stared into nothing and let the water flows from the faucet. 

She didn't want to worry Irene with her messed up look after she cried her heart out to Seulgi so she decided to freshen up a bit. That was one of the two reasons, the other one was because she was still blaming herself of what happened to Irene that she couldn't muster up courage to look at her. 

She sighed.

---

"Should I break in to the washroom outside and drag her here?" Seulgi joked when Irene's eyes were completely fixated on the door while she talked.

"Why don't I break your neck first and let's see if you can still do that." Irene retaliated. 

"You have more strength now more that I've imagined. I'm relieved for you but not for my neck."

Seulgi could say that there's a heavy tension in the air now as she couldn't hold a lie for long nor mask her anxiousness for both of her friends who were both in their own critical state. She has no one to share the gravity of the situation as Joy was back in her hometown. She couldn't tell Irene about how Wendy was taking all in with much difficulty, or how Wendy was having second thoughts of seeing her now. Same case with Wendy, she couldn't tell her either about Irene's real condition that a little stress now for her would cost her baby's life. One wrong move nor word she does or say now would greatly affect both of them so she was very cautious and tried make the vibe lighter for them as much as possible. 

"How was she, Seulgi?" 

"Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you the one who got admitted to the hospital, Ms.? Now tell me, how are YOU?"

Irene rolled her eyes but she couldn't mask her concerns. "I'm worried about her. She was doing so well lately and now... I made her distressed again and probably hurt too." 

"Wendy said you and her baby are her happiness now." 

Irene's eyes widened and heart jitters. 

"W-what?" 

"She loves both of you that much, Irene. So you have to love yourself and your baby as much. Think about how you're doing right now because if I may remind you, you're in a very critical state yourself. What would Wendy feel if something bad happened to you again? Stressing out isn't good for you right now." Seulgi thought a little scolding won't do harm if she did it this way. She just wanted her best friend to save herself and the baby from stress.

"Stop talking, I'll be sleeping now with my fighter baby." 

Seulgi chuckled as Irene abided quickly when she heard her say that. Must be the power of love, Irene was obviously blushing too. 

"Okay, Ms. Lovebird. I won't tell about how drastic love has changed you but I guess I already did just now? Good night to you and yes, that fighter title surely is fitting for your baby." 

"Whatever." Irene retorted for her first two statements but still shamelessly added, "If Wendy's here, tell her to hold my hand as I sleep please?" She pouted seeking for sympathy which Seulgi only reacted with 'whipped' word to her but agreed eventually. 

And Seulgi wasn't lying when she agreed with her because the moment she opened her eyes the next morning, Wendy was by her side holding her hand as she sleeps. This view gave a her a lovely feeling, as if all of her problems washed away this instant and she just knew that her baby felt the same. Everything was all better now that Wendy's here.

Irene place a soft kiss on Wendy's temple but her movement might have been sudden because Wendy stirred on her seat and finally woke up from her sleep.

Wendy was caught by surprise to have found her gazing at her, Irene might have chuckled at her reaction but her eyes that were full of warmth recently were now engulfed only by sadness, doubts and fears. She just knew right away that Wendy struggled so much to be here with her at this very moment. Wendy's eyes weren't entirely back to how they looked like the first  time she saw her but Irene felt guilty that she was the one at fault why she's going through pain again. 

"I'm so glad that you and the baby are okay now." Wendy held Irene's hands with both of hers protectively. 

"Yes. I'm sorry for making you worried." 

Silence. With both of them drowning in guilt, they couldn't hold a longer conversation just like the usual. Irene, no matter how much she seeks for Wendy right now couldn't find courage to ask for it.

"Do you have something to ask me?" She heard Wendy speak and it made her remember what she told her the previous week, she smiled and when she looked at her again, Wendy's eyes were full of warmth again and it made Irene's edging tears finally fell.

"I missed you, Wendy. Please, hold me." She pleads as she bursted out crying.

Wendy swiftly complied and wrapped Irene and her baby in her arms. "No more crying, Irene. I'm here for you two now."

"H-how?" Irene muffled in her embrace, she was asking about how she did it.. how warmth appeared quickly replacing the negative emotions she saw earlier.

Wendy planted a kiss on her forehead before telling her, "It's because this is how I want to live my life now, Irene. I prefer to love you and to be loved by you more than locking myself inside my head. After all, I realized, I have the worst of everything but not when that everything was spent with you."

A/N:

Sorry for the long wait! I honestly had a hard time writing an update for this because when I have time I'm not in the mood to write and when I'm in the mood to write, I have no time. They just don't meet! haha!

Also, I was having an internal battle with how I wanted this story to end that got me paralyzed for quite some time in writing but now, I've finally decided that I want it to flow like this.This chapter really has great importance with the whole story so I took time to think more carefully about it before deciding. I hope it's all good with y'all!